Free shipping and returns in the US

The Tao of Sex

Let’s be frank. Are you having good sex? What is your relationship to your own pleasure anatomy? In this fast-paced world, it’s no wonder that complaints of sexual dysfunction rank high among women regardless of culture or geography. 

Which is why we were intrigued when Natrishka Pather approached us one balmy day in the jungle and invited us to her Yoni Yoga workshop. Natrishka lives and works in Nosara, Costa Rica, where she lives and teaches restorative yoga, reiki, and leads workshops and retreats

Natrishka Pather [Photo: Trevor Francis]

Tell us about your Yoni Yoga workshops. Is it similar to tantra?

Yoni is the sanskrit term for sacred space, womb and source. Yoga means to yolk or join in union.

Yoni Yoga is a modern day invention and term used to describe the connecting of our breath, mind and body towards our sacred yoni. We use exercises like asana to bring awareness to our pelvic floor and sexual organs. Just like asana, this requires breath awareness and body awareness to feel the fullness of self. Where the mind goes, the energy flows. Try it now: Breathe down to your heart. Can you feel that?

In our workshops we explore beliefs past present and future, your pleasure anatomy, the three gates of the pelvic floor and intimate discussion on specific subjects that energy the circle.

What cultural taboos do you see women confront when they take your workshops?

In Japan, the cultural taboo seemed to be asking for what you want and need, being heard and open about your sex life. Many marriages are woven with infidelity on both sides. In Costa Rica, I meet women from all over the world. The global taboos seem to be fear of slut shaming, body image, high stress and anxiety in daily life, low libido, sexual abuse, trauma, rape. Aging, post-menopause, post-childbirth, sexless marriages and not being attracted to one’s spouse anymore are also themes we explore.

What are some breakthroughs you've seen?

The number one breakthrough I have seen continuously no matter the culture is the permission to create a loving relationship with her yoni. So many women have been told that their sexuality is dirty and shameful. Her vagina does not even exist until a man is penetrating her. Her menstrual cycle has been labeled a nuisance, dirty, something not to talk about.

So to give power back to one’s pussy has been an amazing breakthrough for many women in our workshops. Holding space as sisters to talk about the ups and downs of relationships, what is our pleasure anatomy and where do we stand as women with powerful yonis are all discussions that bring light to many.

One woman stated, "I am so thankful to know that I can be the source of my own pleasure and no longer need to believe that a man has to give it to me.”

I believe if you can create a loving relationship to your yoni, practice positive sex language and share positive sex culture, we can create a new type of sex education.

Natrishka Pather[Photo: Trevor Francis]

How does surfing affect your sexual energy?

I love surfing. It brings me down into my core, into my creative and sexual center. When I notice I’m in my head or nervous, I begin to breathe down to my sacral chakra and make a choice to move from here. "She" decides which waves to catch, and from there I flow on the orgasmic waves of presence. The erotic essence of nature is all around you while surfing. This sexual energy is beyond the physical.

When I get out of the water, I feel like a trillionaire who just made love to the most blinged out penis on the planet! From this point, I have to channel my immense sexual energy into my daily life, usually a really delicious post-surf lunch, yoga class, creative project, or connecting with my clients.

What is one feminine tao tantric exercise we can practice to awaken the yoni?

The upward draw is probably the easiest to practice and understand since we automatically use this motion during orgasm. Scientists call it the up suck, doctors call it the kegel, taoists call it the upward draw, and super vixens call it pussy kung fu.

Your pelvic floor has muscles crisscrossing and intersecting at the clitoral region, vaginal opening and anus. By bringing mind, body and breath awareness to your pelvic floor through focused exercises, you can activate the physiological states of arousal.

Let’s start with that pesky little exercise called the kegel. After the birth of my daughter, I dealt with incontinence while working out, sneezing or jumping. Super embarrassing, as the stigma of child birth and loose vagina rung through my head. Even though I had done many kegel exercises, I had no results worth mentioning.

I was in the library one day and this book, The Multi Orgasmic Woman, caught my eye. It was and still is my bible, a life changer, pussy changer, orgasmic bliss creator.

So here goes: The upward draw.

  • Sit in a chair with feet grounded and knees bent 90 degrees. Tall spine and ability to access a full body belly breath.
  • Think of the kegel contraction (stop the flow of urination) as level 1 located at the opening of the vagina. Level 2 would be located mid way up the vaginal canal and level 3 located towards the cervix.
  • With our breath we will travel to all three levels with an inhale, contraction and hold as if we are taking three big inhales up towards the cervix. Then exhale as you soften the pelvic floor.
  • Keep your abdomen soft and shoulders relaxed as you breathe.
  • Inhale — hold first level, inhale — hold second level, inhale — hold third level and exhale slowly.
  • Repeat this 3 breath pattern 9 times. Practice daily or when you feel called to do so.

The more you practice, the easier it is to connect with these muscles. You will bring awareness to this area and be more connected to your sexual organs, getting out of your head and into your body, in charge of your own pleasure anatomy and ruler of your orgasmic capabilities.

Notice during your orgasm that your vaginal canal contracts in similar ways.

You will notice a decrease in incontinence, increase in awareness, ability to receive different flavours of orgasm and female ejaculation.